


The Spyder and The Nomad

by Alwaystomyself



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-27 16:11:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17165114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alwaystomyself/pseuds/Alwaystomyself
Summary: He isn´t Captain America anymore, maybe he never really was. But he still has a job to do, something to fight for and maybe she can help him find out exactly what that is.





	1. Chapter one.

The sundown over the Wakanda tree line is one of the most beautiful things Steve has ever seen.

The light changes from a  warm strong yellow to a deep orange and finally a  bright red as the sun sets. It passes through the dark green forest, creating fantastic shapes and shadows that hit the grass and leaves, revealing treasure like sights, that will be hidden from the world at night. The remaining light, filtrates through the clouds and cascades down the valley in a myriad of colors he can´t even begin to count. The Peace echoes through the hidden country as nature shines, powerful and elegant, art is by far the most beautiful thing Steve has ever witnessed.

He has tried to sketch the twilight in Wakanda, but his drawings always look like pale copies, he can´t quite grasp the peace that fills the air around him.  

He thinks it´s because he himsef isn´t at peace.

The harmony and tranquility that fills  Wakanda serves just to remind him of the turmoil outside the borders of the dream like country. Of the war he fought against his friends, his family, of the chaos and destruction he orchestrated without meaning to.

Today he doesn´t even try to draw it, he just sketches the rhinos that roam the valley.

Wakanda is a beautiful place, but not one meant for him right now.

But he can´t leave Bucky here alone.

He spends days with him, when the princess wakes him from his slumber. They talk, about simple things, about Brooklyn before the war, about Steve before the serum. The princess, Shuri, told him it would be better to stay in those topics, that Bucky´s pain is still raw, bleeding and that talking about the war, about HYDRA or anything else, especially with him, would not help. In those scenarios, Steve is a trigger, she explained softly to him, and right now, is about sensing where the walls are built and not tearing them down, not just yet.

She´s a skinny, smart beauty that could even take Tony and Bruce together, wise beyond her years and with a tendency to annoy her big brother. Steve is grateful she hasn´t really been dragged into the mess that is the world. Unlike the geniuses he has known, she´s still innocent.

So when Buck is asleep, Steve walks alone through Wakanda, sketches things and waits for news of the mess he left behind.

He sometimes enjoys the company of Nakia, when she´s not on the council or training. She´s a wise woman, reminds him of Nat a little bit, all power and easy elegance. She´s an idealist, he comes to learn, and usually incurs in missions outside of Wakanda, she has no qualms about telling him her thoughts on the US foreign policy’s and how it affects her corner of the world. She treats him to the best Wakandan cuisine and some of the best music he has heard in a long while. She also kicks his ass while training. Steve not stupid though, he knows she´s there to keep an eye on him and Nakia tells him so herself. T´Challa wants him here, but there are things foreigners don´t get to see, even friendly ones.

He rarely gets to see T´Challa and knows better than to intrude. New king and all, he figures there are things more important than a man out of his time and place.

And it´s that really, that makes his skin crawl and that doesn´t allow him to enjoy the beauty if the things he´s seeing.

He´s not in the right place, he´s not doing what he´s meant to.

It´s been more than 70 years since he was awake and not fighting.

He doesn´t know his place now, but he also knows he  _has_ one in this world, that doesn´t just include pretty sketches and tasty food.

Still, he won´t insert himself into Black Panther business, he knows they don´t need his help.

So he´s more than a little surprised when Nakia asks him to suit up.

He looks at her, not even standing up from the bench where he was sketching some rhinos.

“Why? It´s not like you or T´Challa need me”.

She smiles a little at him.

“True. But we figure you are a bit more familiar with the enemy”.

He lifts an eyebrow at her.

“They are a faction of HYDRA, or at least they are commanded by a former HYDRA man”.

_Ah._

“Also Okoye wants to see you fight. She says the YouTube videos are too pixelated”.

Steve smiles a little.

“I don´t really have a suit which to suit up with”.

His last one has Tony´s blood.

He can´t even look at it. Nakia smiles more broadly.

“We´ll figure something Captain”.

He flinches at the name.

He isn´t Captain America anymore, but being without the title does make him uneasy.

It´s been so long since he was just Steve.

He knows who he is, what he believes in, but he isn´t sure how that fits in this new world.

Back when he first woke up, the Cap image was what anchored him, he knew what Cap was meant to do, but now, Steve Grant Rogers, doesn’t understand how to help, how to act for what he was fighting the accords.

He wants to help, to fight, to do what is right, but now he has no direct enemy.

He believes the accords where wrong, but he also knows Tony is not a bad person, far from it, and that leaves him adrift. He´s not a spy, he´s never been a spy and he won´t work for a government, he´s just tired of petty politics.

_Captain America is gone._

And Steve doesn´t know how replace him. He isn´t even sure he wants to.

Nakia is gone when he lifts his eyes again. She´s sort of used to his inner monologues, but not really interested in them. To her, _he’s still Captain America, because the symbol belonged to him,_ she explained, _not to those who commanded him._

 _True,_ he had answered her, _but it´s not just about who created the symbol or who owns it, it´s about what he did under it, and how he presented the symbol to the world._

 _Ah_ , Nakia had said to him, furrowing her brow, _it´s that you don´t want to be Captain America anymore_.

He hadn´t answered her, partly because she had slammed him to the dirt, much like Nat usually did, and partly because he was thinking about it.

Did he want to be Cap?

_Not anymore._

Who did he want to be though?

Who Steve Grant Rogers from Brooklyn felt the world needed? Who did he want to become when he suited up?

He wasn´t sure.

He walks back to his room, to put the notebook away and properly suit up. In his room he finds a black army suit. No flag, no symbol. Just pants, a shirt and protection.

Nothing that says who he fights for, what he fights for.

When he looks in the mirror, he sees another HYDRA thug.

He adds this to the list of things he doesn´t want to deal with right now.

He meets T´Challa in full catsuit, Okoye, who is dressed as always, which he doesn´t really find surprising, he´s sure she could take him down in her pijamas, and Nakia in the castle´s entrance hall. He knows he´s not allowed on the labs and it really doesn´t bother him. Technology here is so astoundingly complicated, he misses VERONICA and Tony´s gadgets.

Shuri is explaining some tech upgrade to T´Challa when he gets to the group.

“Why don´t just add a parachute while you are at it, little sister? You seem to like adding useless stuff to the suit anyways” T´Challa jokes.

Shuri glares at him but says nothing.

“Why bother? Aren´t cats supposed to always land in their feet?” Steve shoots back.

Shuri laughs.

“Next time I´ll give him the upgrades”.

“Sure you will little sister”.

Okoye clears her throat.

“Target is in the Northwestern border, poaching Vibranium and manufactoring weapons” she explains “the source will meet us there and together we´ll take the threat down”.

She looks sternly at Nakia and T´Challa.

“No fighting team members, no running off alone”.

Steve looks at them.

“What did you do to piss her off?” he asks Nakia.

“Don´t look at me, it´s all the Black Panther´s fault”.

T´Challa chuckles.

“Come on, they must be wainting for us”.

They walk out to the courtyard in front of the palace, where, to his surprise, Steve sees T´Challa´s mother and more Dora Milaje.

Tall strong beautiful women and their Queen. It´s a striking image, all sharp lines and powerful femenity. Ramonda´s silver hair is striking and the evening light shines from the Dora Milaje´s shaved heads, the entire group exudes elegance.

“My son” Ramonda says “I do hope you´ll soon come back. I am getting tired of holding council sessions in your absence”.

T´Challa chuckles.

“Don´t worry mother, with the allies we´ve got in this one, even Okoye couldn´t screw it up”.

Okoye doesn´t even answer. Ramonda smiles.

“Right. You just be here by tomorrow morning, I will not tolerate you sending me or Zuri to the council. That is your pain to deal with and not mine”.

T´Challa opens his mouth to answer, but Nakia interrupts him.

“Come on” she chastises everyone, half way up the jet´s landing ramp “we don´t have all night”.

They all get in and Steve watches the interior amassed.

It´s so familiar and strange at the same time.

The basis of the ship is like Tony´s, but it´s more sleek, elegante, all dark greys and blacks and luminous lights that decorate the walls. It looks spacious too, and Steve calculates that at least a dozen fighters could prepare themselves comfortably at the same time, unlike his days working with STRIKE. He doesn´t even go near the piloting area, he knows what he´ll look like.

He setlees near the central table of the ship, made of metal and with a light buzzing sound. Suddenly, the surface stars to change and a camp, with glowing people appears before him, the people move and the tents sway in the wind. He has to physically stop himself from jumping.

T´Challa chuckles at this.

“Now let´s talk strategy”.

“Thank you, my prince, for allowing us to speak” Okoye laughs from the pilot seat.

T´Challa glances at her and smiles, the figures start to move faster on the table.

It´s an easy take down mission really.

They have to attack the camp, capture the mercenaries, get the HYDRA thug leading them and bring them back for questioning, all the while getting back the Vibranium. It´s a very small operation or they would risk getting discovered, Steve calculates about 40 men tops.

Okoye laughs as she approaches the table. Apparently, the ship also has autopilot. 

“There are 35 men in camp, so I say 7 per person, first to get to seven wins. Leader counts for two, securing the Vibranium is second place. Getting knocked down means you lose”.

Steve looks at her.

“But we are four”.

She smiles at him, feline and dangerous.

“We have an asset on the ground, the one who alerted us to this”.

Steve looks at T´Challa.

“Another ally my friend”.

He nods, Nakia told him Wakanda has a lot of _emissaries_ , protecting its borders and secrets, never attacking unless absolutely necessary.

They get to their destination rather quickly, and while Okoye lands their ship T´Challa approaches him.

“I think you´ll be happy to see or new ally, Captain, an old friend is always good”.

Steve doesn´t even get to react to the name.

The door slides down and a figure approaches the ship.

Natasha stands in front of him, exactly like he remembers her.

She smirks at him.

“Hey guys, any of you know where the archeological digs are? I´m here to pick up a Fossil”.


	2. Chapter two.

They leave them alone after the mission is done. Nakia excuses herself talking about interrogation and takes T´Challa with her. Okoye just laughs and turns around, leaving them with a pile of knocked down thugs. One groans loudly when she steps on him to get away.

Natasha just chuckles.

“So” he begins.

“We need to leave Wakanda” she interrupts him, all business but a side smirk on her face nonetheless “well, it´s really you that has to leave since I´m not being chased by anyone relevant right now, but I remember how you were planning on going on the run when Pierce was out to get you and you really suck at it Rogers”.

Steve just looks at her.

Her hair is longer than he has ever seen it, even after the whole Zemo debacle, it´s straight now and in a ponytail, looking so casual he can see her in a normal life picking up coffe while walking her dog. She´s still wearing her Black Widow uniform, but it´s an old one, the Shield Symbol ripped from her left arm. He looks at it but doesn´t comment on it. She´ll tell him later.

“How come you´re here?” he asks her as he begins to pick the weapons from the mercenaries and emptying them.

She does the same.

“We´ll, I´ve always wanted to see what Wakanda was like”.

Steve turns to her, full grin on her face as he regards her with a serious face.

“Pepper took Tony back, so he didn´t need babysitting anymore, Fury is way off the grid for an easy catch up and my best friend is in jail. I had no one to talk to”.

He doesn´t even look at her. She kicks a guy and takes his gun. Steve continues to gather knives and handguns.

“Rogers, you´re all brooding and no fun”.

She turns to him as she empties the chamber of a machine gun.

“I have eyes and ears on Ross, never liked the guy and his whole story with Banner was just wrong”.

Steve properly looks at her when she mentions Dr Banner. He discussed Dr Banner with the team after Ultron, the likelihood that he had survived, the missing Quinjet, the lack of Hulk sightings even if he had disappeared in that form. He hadn´t asked Nat about it, just let her mourn in silence. He'd even talked to Barton about it. Taken his advice about staying out of it, letting her be her.

Natasha looks him straight in the eyes after talking, clear, strong green eyes. They say things in silence for a moment, questions and answers unvoiced, but not unacknowledged.

Then she continues.

“He knows you´re here. Half the world does and the other half has a strong suspicion. He hasn’t done anything because Stark won´t let him and T´Challa has a good international standing, but he plans to bring it up in the next UN security meeting. He´ll treat you like a War criminal. And he plans to give T´Challa an ultimatum. Either give you up or they´ll come to get you”.

Steve kicks a helmet that he finds on the ground. Natasha doesn´t seem to react to this outburst. She stands there, waiting for him to do whatever he needs to. 

He remembers what Ross did to Dr Banner. He read the report about the entrapment in the university, the way the Hulk had taken Dr. Ross away, the fight with the other creature, Abomination is what they had called it, who was also a failed attempt to resynthesize the serum. He remembers the fight for the accords. Steve didn´t like the guy one bit and he knew Natasha was probably right. Ross was stupid enough to invade Wakanda.

He wouldn´t win, of course.

But T´Challa, Nakia, Okoye, all of them would be exposed. All the hidden beauty and kindness, all the proud traditions and secrets would be shown to the world, displayed for the advantage of a few and the suffering of thousands.

Shuri´s face appears to him. Innocent, kind hearted, brilliant, young Shuri, who was still untouched by the harshness of the world. She wouldn´t be anymore if he brought down all the violence and force of the US to her the door.

“You´re sure Nat?” he asks her quietly.

He can´t leave Bucky, not again, not after how long he´s been missing him. Not when he´s seeing him smile again, remember ing things before the war, before pain tainted their relationship.

But he will if he has to, and he trusts Nat with his life, so he trusts her truths as well.

“I´m sorry” is all she answers.

He turns to her.

Her smirk is gone, she is as serious as she was the day of Peggy´s funeral.

He nods, finishes picking the weapons and stars putting the mercenaries in a row. Okoye and Nakia wanted to interrogate them.

Both of them appear with smiles on their faces. Natasha joins them. 

He goes to stand next to T´Challa.

“You are leaving my  friend”.

Steve smiles at the future king.

“You are getting very wise, you´ll make a great king, I´m sorry  I can´t make it to your coronation”.

“Who said you were invited to it?”

Steve remains quiet for a moment.

“I´ve been talking to Nakia” T´Challa says after a while, watching the Vibranium pillaged from his home country “about you. I´m sure she told you the council appointed her to watch you, keep you away from trouble and our secrets. She mentioned some things I found rather interesting”.

“Did you now?”

T´Challa smiles. For a man with the entirety of his country´s fate in his shoulders, he is rather a cheerful person.

“You and I share a few similarities, Steven. We are different in a lot of ways, but we both have symbol, a name that doesn´t necessarily belongs to us, that entails a lot of responsibilities and that people often mistake with our identity’s. The Black Panther has been with my people since the beginning of our time. It´s more than me or my Father, or his father before him. Captain America is not. You do not carry your country´s story on that uniform, but do not carry your story in that symbol either. You are more than that, just like I am, and everyone who ever took arms to protect what was right was. Your story belongs to you, don´t let the disappointment you have on a symbol or name stop you from being who you are. You were always more than a name and a shield”.

Steve is quiet after that.

He doesn´t really know what to answer.

_You´re right._

_You´re wrong._

“But now, my friend, we have work to do. I´m assuming you´ll say goodbye to Sergeant Barnes and that you´ll travel with the Black Widow. I cannot say I don´t envy you, she is a remarkable woman”.

“She´s a remarkable friend”.

“Sure, just like Nakia is”.

He turns to leave and Natasha appears, silent as always.

“My ears are burning, where you talking about me?”

“Only the good stuff I promise”.

She smiles, half smirk.

“You better have. We´ll need to leave as soon as we can. I´ll pack your stuff and meet you when you´re ready”.

“Thank you”.

“What are friends for?”

*

“It´s ok Steve. I´m going to be fine”.

They are sitting in Bucky´s room, he on a chair and Bucky on the bed.

"Take care of the princess Buck, she´s..."

"Too innocent for her own good, I know" Bucky smiles  "pretty sure she´s taking care of me though".

Both of the fall silent, looking through the window on Bucky´s room. 

The Wakanda night still reigns. Stars illuminate the fields and the city shines with a dim light, almost like a ghost city, a memory of the Metropolis of the day. Bucky looks at it for a while.

“I could never really draw. I remember how you used to do all my art projects for me in school, and how happy you were when you got into that art institute. But I did accompany you to the showings and sat while you drew. Even when we were with the commandos”.

Steve looks at him surprised. The light reflects on his pale skin, his dark seems pitch black and his eyes shine with pain on them. He looks like a dark handsome prince, pale as the moon and dark as death itself.

It´s the first time he talks about the war with him. With anyone if he believes Shuri.

“I remember you taking my drawings and showing them to girls. I remember you asking me to draw a girl so you could tell her you did it, when we were back on England”.

“You drew her laughing. She told me she never thought someone could make something so pretty in a time so ugly".

"She was really pretty. Howard Stark asked me to do the same, but for his new girlfriend".

Bucky falls silent. Both of them know who the new girl was. And what happened to both of them.

"She dumped me before we went on that train, said she needed a  fella she could actually take home, not just talk about on the Sunday dinners” Bucky says after a while.

“Her loss” he says, facing the beautiful sight with a half-smile.

“I wasn’t really that faithful to her, remember. I took other girls on dates, I held other people tight to me, needed another person much more than I needed her, but I never told her”.

Steve turns to watch him. His big, pain filled eyes look back at him, and he swears he can see himself in them.

“I remember every little detail Steven, about everything before the arm” he says as he takes one of his hands on his “but I´m not that scared young boy off to war I was then. Neither are you. Those two boys are dead, burried 70 years ago, with no one to mourn them but us. All that remains is two broken people, who look like they did”.

A lonely tear falls from Bucky´s eye.

Steve dries it with his free hand.

“But we are not dead Buck, and we have so much more to do still. So much more trouble to cause, so much more fight inside us”.

Bucky smiles and let’s go of his hand.

“Goodbye Steve, don´t go too far though. I still want to follow the skinny kid from Brooklyn”.

*

He meets Natasha at the back of the castle.

She´s standing in front of a truck, sunglasses on as the red light begins to filter through the trees, another spectacular sight on Wakanda. For the first time, Steve knows he´ll miss it, and the peace it brings.

She´s wearing civilian clothes and has her hair loose. She almost looks on vacation, except for the two gun holsters on her legs.

“Come on Rogers. Okoye asked us to drop this gentlemen at the border”.

All the mercenaries are at the back of the truck, bandages on every body´s left arm.

She gets on the truck and smiles.

“I´m picking the music this time”.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, so I tried to look for ff that talked about the time between CACW and IF and I didn´t find one I really could sink my teeth into, so here´s my take, hope you enjoy it and please comment!! =)


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